[ Ryoji kneels down to where the pots and pans are kept in the cabinets, sifting through the various cookware until he finds something that fits the bill and brings it out. ]
All I have is this pot, will it do? [ The difference between a saucepan and a pot? A saucepan has one long handle, a pot has two short ones, and culinary terminology is confusing. Especially when he looks at the phone screen to check how much butter he needs to cut off from the stick he gets out from the fridge. ]
"2 and 1/2 tablespoons"... how many inches is that...?
[ So it is... He's only ever buttered toast before, and the exact measurement for buttered toast is "liberal". Butter goes into the pan and onto the stoke to melt down, a bag of flour and milk to whisk in... after he picks up Noah's phone to look up what a whisk is, and then eggs. It goes alright until the eggs. Four yolks and five whites is where Ryoji pauses in the recipe, because what do ]
I've seen this before. You gotta crack open the eggs in a separate bowl and separate the yolks from the rest. Maybe- put the yolks in a separate bowl and toss one out?
[He sighs. Fine. He'll take the egg and tap it against the bowl edge until it cracks. He's not really a cook, but he's made enough omelets and scramble eggs to know how to crack one, so he does it pretty smoothly with his one hand.]
There. And then you just...spoon out the yolk. I think.
[ Cracking eggs is tricky business, where you can't be too delicate or the outer membrane will keep it held together, not can you be too rough or the yolk will break and you'll get egg everywhere. Noah's egg cracking suggests to Ryoji that his egg cracking skills are at least one level higher than his, so he nods in serious concurrence. And hands him the spoon.
His intention of doing things himself has dropped off a steep cliff. ]
He stares at the spoon a moment before he reaches to grab it with a "tch" sound. Then he does his best to scoop up the yolk. It's a bit clumsy, but there he goes. He dumps the yolk into the other bowl]
[ Why are they taking turns when Noah is supposed to be doing everything for him? Ryoji's reluctant to take his turn, but alright, fine— the egg is cracked on the flat of the counter top instead of the edge of the bowl, and then very very swiftly moved over the bowl with minimal but not negligible egg loss onto the counter during the transfer. But he has the benefit of two hands to steady and tilt the bowl while he fishes the yolk back out, and he passes everything back to Noah. ]
Cooking is... kind of mundane, isn't it? [ All they've done is crack eggs. He thought it'd be more exciting, like how chefs on television are always smiling and chipper. ]
Yes, but. Have you seen it before, where in the time it takes to prepare a baked dish, they stick one pan into the oven and pull out the other: Done! [ hands in the air, possibly some eggshell ] It's magic. That's what I imagined cooking to be like.
[ Ryoji needs a response to respond to! He falls quiet, trying to make a judgement on what Noah might be thinking, but he can't so... he goes ahead and cracks that third egg like there's absolutely nothing wrong with his beliefs. ]
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[He's pretty sure there's some sous chef out there who just died from that suggestion, but sure. fuck. why not.]
Yeah, guess so. So you wanna start with a small saucepan to melt butter in.
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[ S ORRY this is the novice chef you have to work with ]
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Sauce pans are the ones with tall edges- so they can hold liquid. Also usually got a lid.
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All I have is this pot, will it do? [ The difference between a saucepan and a pot? A saucepan has one long handle, a pot has two short ones, and culinary terminology is confusing. Especially when he looks at the phone screen to check how much butter he needs to cut off from the stick he gets out from the fridge. ]
"2 and 1/2 tablespoons"... how many inches is that...?
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[It doesn't look quite right, but eh, why not. A pot's a pot]
Uh, I dunno. It should be marked on the wrapper.
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Cooking adviser.....
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Uh shit...
I've seen this before. You gotta crack open the eggs in a separate bowl and separate the yolks from the rest. Maybe- put the yolks in a separate bowl and toss one out?
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Chefs crack eggs with one hand, don't they?
[ Unvoiced: maybe teach me?
Also unvoiced: it's okay, we have three dozen eggs to practice with. ]
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You bought three dozen eggs without knowing how to crack them?
[the fuck dude]
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[He sighs. Fine. He'll take the egg and tap it against the bowl edge until it cracks. He's not really a cook, but he's made enough omelets and scramble eggs to know how to crack one, so he does it pretty smoothly with his one hand.]
There. And then you just...spoon out the yolk. I think.
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His intention of doing things himself has dropped off a steep cliff. ]
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He stares at the spoon a moment before he reaches to grab it with a "tch" sound. Then he does his best to scoop up the yolk. It's a bit clumsy, but there he goes. He dumps the yolk into the other bowl]
There. Your turn.
[YOU GONNA LEARN TODAY]
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Cooking is... kind of mundane, isn't it? [ All they've done is crack eggs. He thought it'd be more exciting, like how chefs on television are always smiling and chipper. ]
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Uh, yeah? What did you expect?
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[ His expectations... ]
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Mate, you know those things are very edited right?
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That's theater tricks, Ryoji. The baked dish in the oven was already in there when they started filming.
Real cooking's a lot slower.
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It's reality television. They can't lie to the audience.
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You're not serious, right?
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....Wow.
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Is that a good wow or a bad wow?
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[He makes a "ha" in just disbelief]
It's just...a lot of that stuff is faked, or there's short cuts- even with a large audience. Like, fuck I dunno, ever seen a magician perform?
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