[Man, there's a lot to unpack here. When Dante comes back to this and sees Noah's blowup he winces, letting out a long sigh. Man, he's always expecting Noah to blow up at him, but he hadn't been expecting the whole life story thing. Why do people do this to him? Does he just have that kind of face that says "pour your whole life story out to me; I'm a kind and generous person and would be glad to help you out!" or something? And now if he says anything rude to Noah he'll just look like a dick--even more of a dick than he usually is.]
okay look
first and foremost none of this goes beyond the two of us i'm not gonna spread your shit everywhere so do me a favor and don't spread mine i don't need people playing armchair psychologist trying to pretend they understand me
that all being said yeah. you've been dealt a damn shitty hand, no pun intended. i get that
but you aren't the only one who's had it rough. i'm not gonna make this a pissing contest because you'll win every time so don't think i'm complaining that i've got it harder than you
but i've got my own issues too. sure i got to tour around with my folks but what the fuck does a 10 year old do when everybody around them is either adults looking to play him to get close to his father or the children of those adults doing what their parents told them to? i got to see all these places but only from bus windows or on private tours that only show you the "good stuff". the eiffel tower, the arc de triomphe, notre dame
you see the homeless on the streets and get ushered by and have to pretend they don't exist because that's not what you have to "care" about when you're famous, unless you're making donations to charity for press opportunities
you're only somewhere a week or two at a time, maybe a month if you're really lucky. making friends is stupid because they never last once you're gone
yeah i'm lucky. i'm privileged. i've got my parents' money and the freedom to do with it what i want as long as i play the part of their perfect son and stand at their galas and receptions to have rich assholes' daughters shoved my way as a potential "match" for them. as long as i talk business and politics in ways that are completely false because who knew school could actually teach you shit, but if i voice an opinion that actually stands up for what's right it'll cause a scandal and potentially end with my parents out of work and blacklisted from being able to make a living for themselves
maybe my parents didn't throw me out but they definitely didn't have time for me. my grandma's the one that raised me until they decided they wanted to parade me around, and then as soon as i dared to do something *i* wanted to do that wasn't acceptable by their standards they kicked me back to her again
(not that i'm complaining about that part, but it's still something that happened)
even when she died they couldn't be assed to come home and take care of their son
so yeah
sure i've got privilege and i've had opportunities you haven't
but if i do anything with them i'm fucked
and before you tell me i should do it anyways and piss off my parents even if it means they cut me off keep in mind that ari's in the same position as i am
so yeah i drink and make dumb choices and live like i don't care and am a dick to anyone i please
not much else i can do right now, not until i get some sort of a degree and can actually support myself first
but my POINT IS that shit happens and you can choose to let it rule you or you can move the fuck on
sure i could be a moody piece of shit because my parents want to control my thoughts and emotions and have me be their perfect son to make connections and build their social standing in the world
but they're just doing what's best for them and it's stupid for me to waste my time being pissed off about it because that isn't gonna change shit
so long story short yeah shit sucks but you don't know anyone else's story either so stop assuming that everyone else is walking on sunshine just because you aren't
[Honestly? Noah hadn't been expecting a response from Dante after the previous night. He had lost his temper, and probably said more than he preferred to share about his past - but it wasn't anything he would lose sleep over. But if anything, he assumed that Dante would probably brush it off or ignore it. The guy was probably pretty drunk, there was a good chance he wouldn't remember even texting Noah. That was...well, whatever. Expected.
What wasn't expected was getting a response. And such a long one at that.
Which, to give Noah credit? He does read it. He reads through the entire thing, and thinks it over. He takes such a long time to think it over, that it's a long time before he replies back.]
youre wrong about ari. she doesnt let her mum control her. she fights all the time to live her own life.
[It was the reason she was in Recolle, it was the reason he was here. Ari's mom was extremely controlling, and he knew just hard Ari struggled to break free of that control. To not just do that, but also make sure she contributed to the world on her own. It was something Noah admired about her, honestly. She was a lot stronger than most people would think.
As for the rest of it.....honestly, Noah has a hard time understanding Dante's backstory. He can understand the words, and even empathize with points of it. But so much of it, was out of his realm of understanding. But it wasn't even just the money or the fame part of it. No, he could understand those parts just fine.
But the whole going along with it? That's where he had trouble, because that just wasn't something he would do. Noah was always a fighter, always defiant. Even when people tried to break him...it'd never take. He always followed his own path. Doing otherwise was simply too hard for him to understand.
Then again...maybe he wasn't supposed to understand. Dante probably wasn't at all interested in having Noah tell him how to live his life. Noah had no interest in telling Dante how to live his life either. That wasn't the point of any of this.
No, the point was more....explaining to Noah that everyone had shit in their lives. It wasn't just Noah. Which, yeah, he knew that. Anya couldn't speak English anymore. Tatsuma never had any friends before moving here. Naoto's parents were killed when he was a little kid. He knew about those things, and there was a large part of him that did care. Even though he knew it was better to just look after your own skin? He would find himself helping them get away from reporters, or just trying to chat them up as best he could. Sure, he wasn't good at it....
... ]
but fine. i get it. you got shit in your life too. sorry for assuming otherwise.
but you know from the sound of it. you let your shit rule you more than mine rules me. i mean not that im not guilty of it too ill admit that but
[Honestly, the reply from Noah, received several hours after Dante had sent the first message, is about as much as he could have expected. He's not looking to change Noah, not really. But Noah seems to him to see things in black and white, where Dante's world is full of gray areas that describe everything he's ever done. The world is more than that.]
look i said no armchair psychology this isn't about me and what i should be doing i'm doing just fine
but... you're right about ari, mostly. her mom still affects what she does and the decisions she makes
[Hadn't Ari even told him that when they'd gone street racing that first time? She'd been worried to go with him because of what her mother might do. Even though she's fighting, her mother's influence still affects her, still guides her to some degree. But still, she's fighting. Dante admires that about her too--it's like she's glowing with her own inner strength, and he's lucky enough to feel that glow warming his face like the sun.]
still, ari's special, that's for sure
but her mom's also different than mine, my folks aren't intentionally doing it. they just don't know how to do anything different and i'm not gonna ruin their lives just because they didn't know how to be good parents
[Because for everything he said above? He really does care for them. Even though she's his stepmother, Valerie's always treated him like her own, to the point where he calls her his mom. He's fond of his parents; looks back on playing the piano during sound checks with his father with pleasure. They're well-meaning parents, they just... aren't great ones. And that's okay.]
[Noah can't help but roll his eyes over on his end when he receives Dante's message. Probably a good thing this is text.]
oh yeah youre fine nothing says im fine like giving a manifesto about how "fine" you are.
of course her decisions are affected by her mom. but her decisions are also affected by the earths rotation. affected isnt the same as controlled. theres a difference.
and do you really think her mums intentionally driving her daughter away? i hate her and think shes a bitch. but even i know shes not a disney villain. just got some fucked up ideas about how things should be.
[Bianca had no love for him, and a huge reason he was so set on finding a job was because he knew every Alessandro dollar he spent was a dollar that could be used against him. Not to mention, he was very sure the moment Bianca found a way to disown him without causing a media circus, she'd do it. He had to be ready for that.
But even so, he knew that Bianca loved Ari in her own twisted way. She was just doing what she felt was the best way to protect herself and her family. Even if she did everything to treat Noah like shit and saw him as nothing, she was also willing to take care of her brother-in-law and provide him with whatever he needed. Noah couldn't forget that. ]
but whatever. youre not actually interested in that. youre interested in being right and proving youre better than me. because if youre right and better, you dont ever have to change. i can guess why but you said no armchair psychology. but guess what: i KNOW im fucked up. i KNOW i fuck up.
[That makes them two of a kind because Dante's rolling his eyes right back at Noah's reply. He tries to reach out and this is how it's received. This is why he doesn't bother being nice to people!]
do you always take things so literally no shit ari's mom isn't intentionally driving her daughter away my point is that our situations are similar but different. ari's mom's much worse than my parents are
[His parents might want him to be their perfect son, but they also aren't going around intentionally ruining people's lives, like the housekeeper Ari mentioned to him. They haven't done anything outright manipulative. Their worst "crime" is wanting to show him off. It's not their fault that he wants different things for himself than they do.]
and i sure as hell didn't come in here to say i'm better
but you don't want to hear it from me, you just want to keep that chip on your shoulder
so do what you want
[This is what he gets for trying to use a ~personal connection~ to help somebody. Fuck that. He's done.]
[Hey man he's not saying you need to sue your parents or condemn them. Just you know maybe, stand up for yourself more instead of just going along with it. But whatever. It's clear Dante's giving up, and he can't help but scoff at that remark.]
ha yep you got me. fuck yeah im keeping that chip on my shoulder. raging destroyer, thats me. no changing that. better hope i dont get powers like others have. i might just decide to level this fucking city.
[Yeah, nope. Dante glances at his phone when he gets the notification of Noah's message, skims it, then rolls his eyes and drops it back into his pocket. He doesn't even care about getting the last word any more. If Noah's response to him opening up is pull this shit, it just reinforces the reasons why he never does so in the first place.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
3/12
okay look
first and foremost none of this goes beyond the two of us i'm not gonna spread your shit everywhere so do me a favor and don't spread mine i don't need people playing armchair psychologist trying to pretend they understand me
that all being said yeah. you've been dealt a damn shitty hand, no pun intended. i get that
but you aren't the only one who's had it rough. i'm not gonna make this a pissing contest because you'll win every time so don't think i'm complaining that i've got it harder than you
but i've got my own issues too. sure i got to tour around with my folks but what the fuck does a 10 year old do when everybody around them is either adults looking to play him to get close to his father or the children of those adults doing what their parents told them to? i got to see all these places but only from bus windows or on private tours that only show you the "good stuff". the eiffel tower, the arc de triomphe, notre dame
you see the homeless on the streets and get ushered by and have to pretend they don't exist because that's not what you have to "care" about when you're famous, unless you're making donations to charity for press opportunities
you're only somewhere a week or two at a time, maybe a month if you're really lucky. making friends is stupid because they never last once you're gone
yeah i'm lucky. i'm privileged. i've got my parents' money and the freedom to do with it what i want as long as i play the part of their perfect son and stand at their galas and receptions to have rich assholes' daughters shoved my way as a potential "match" for them. as long as i talk business and politics in ways that are completely false because who knew school could actually teach you shit, but if i voice an opinion that actually stands up for what's right it'll cause a scandal and potentially end with my parents out of work and blacklisted from being able to make a living for themselves
maybe my parents didn't throw me out but they definitely didn't have time for me. my grandma's the one that raised me until they decided they wanted to parade me around, and then as soon as i dared to do something *i* wanted to do that wasn't acceptable by their standards they kicked me back to her again
(not that i'm complaining about that part, but it's still something that happened)
even when she died they couldn't be assed to come home and take care of their son
so yeah
sure i've got privilege and i've had opportunities you haven't
but if i do anything with them i'm fucked
and before you tell me i should do it anyways and piss off my parents even if it means they cut me off keep in mind that ari's in the same position as i am
so yeah i drink and make dumb choices and live like i don't care and am a dick to anyone i please
not much else i can do right now, not until i get some sort of a degree and can actually support myself first
but my POINT IS that shit happens and you can choose to let it rule you or you can move the fuck on
sure i could be a moody piece of shit because my parents want to control my thoughts and emotions and have me be their perfect son to make connections and build their social standing in the world
but they're just doing what's best for them and it's stupid for me to waste my time being pissed off about it because that isn't gonna change shit
so long story short yeah shit sucks but you don't know anyone else's story either so stop assuming that everyone else is walking on sunshine just because you aren't
also that was really fucking long so
sorry about that part
no subject
What wasn't expected was getting a response. And such a long one at that.
Which, to give Noah credit? He does read it. He reads through the entire thing, and thinks it over. He takes such a long time to think it over, that it's a long time before he replies back.]
youre wrong about ari.
she doesnt let her mum control her.
she fights all the time to live her own life.
[It was the reason she was in Recolle, it was the reason he was here. Ari's mom was extremely controlling, and he knew just hard Ari struggled to break free of that control. To not just do that, but also make sure she contributed to the world on her own. It was something Noah admired about her, honestly. She was a lot stronger than most people would think.
As for the rest of it.....honestly, Noah has a hard time understanding Dante's backstory. He can understand the words, and even empathize with points of it. But so much of it, was out of his realm of understanding. But it wasn't even just the money or the fame part of it. No, he could understand those parts just fine.
But the whole going along with it? That's where he had trouble, because that just wasn't something he would do. Noah was always a fighter, always defiant. Even when people tried to break him...it'd never take. He always followed his own path. Doing otherwise was simply too hard for him to understand.
Then again...maybe he wasn't supposed to understand. Dante probably wasn't at all interested in having Noah tell him how to live his life. Noah had no interest in telling Dante how to live his life either. That wasn't the point of any of this.
No, the point was more....explaining to Noah that everyone had shit in their lives. It wasn't just Noah. Which, yeah, he knew that. Anya couldn't speak English anymore. Tatsuma never had any friends before moving here. Naoto's parents were killed when he was a little kid. He knew about those things, and there was a large part of him that did care. Even though he knew it was better to just look after your own skin? He would find himself helping them get away from reporters, or just trying to chat them up as best he could. Sure, he wasn't good at it....
... ]
but fine.
i get it.
you got shit in your life too.
sorry for assuming otherwise.
but you know from the sound of it.
you let your shit rule you more than mine rules me.
i mean not that im not guilty of it too
ill admit that
but
maybe take your own advice?
no subject
look i said no armchair psychology this isn't about me and what i should be doing i'm doing just fine
but... you're right about ari, mostly. her mom still affects what she does and the decisions she makes
[Hadn't Ari even told him that when they'd gone street racing that first time? She'd been worried to go with him because of what her mother might do. Even though she's fighting, her mother's influence still affects her, still guides her to some degree. But still, she's fighting. Dante admires that about her too--it's like she's glowing with her own inner strength, and he's lucky enough to feel that glow warming his face like the sun.]
still, ari's special, that's for sure
but her mom's also different than mine, my folks aren't intentionally doing it. they just don't know how to do anything different and i'm not gonna ruin their lives just because they didn't know how to be good parents
[Because for everything he said above? He really does care for them. Even though she's his stepmother, Valerie's always treated him like her own, to the point where he calls her his mom. He's fond of his parents; looks back on playing the piano during sound checks with his father with pleasure. They're well-meaning parents, they just... aren't great ones. And that's okay.]
no subject
oh yeah youre fine
nothing says im fine like giving a manifesto about how "fine" you are.
of course her decisions are affected by her mom.
but her decisions are also affected by the earths rotation.
affected isnt the same as controlled.
theres a difference.
and do you really think her mums intentionally driving her daughter away?
i hate her and think shes a bitch.
but even i know shes not a disney villain.
just got some fucked up ideas about how things should be.
[Bianca had no love for him, and a huge reason he was so set on finding a job was because he knew every Alessandro dollar he spent was a dollar that could be used against him. Not to mention, he was very sure the moment Bianca found a way to disown him without causing a media circus, she'd do it. He had to be ready for that.
But even so, he knew that Bianca loved Ari in her own twisted way. She was just doing what she felt was the best way to protect herself and her family. Even if she did everything to treat Noah like shit and saw him as nothing, she was also willing to take care of her brother-in-law and provide him with whatever he needed. Noah couldn't forget that. ]
but whatever.
youre not actually interested in that.
youre interested in being right and proving youre better than me.
because if youre right and better, you dont ever have to change.
i can guess why but you said no armchair psychology.
but guess what:
i KNOW im fucked up.
i KNOW i fuck up.
but youre still not better.
no subject
do you always take things so literally no shit ari's mom isn't intentionally driving her daughter away my point is that our situations are similar but different. ari's mom's much worse than my parents are
[His parents might want him to be their perfect son, but they also aren't going around intentionally ruining people's lives, like the housekeeper Ari mentioned to him. They haven't done anything outright manipulative. Their worst "crime" is wanting to show him off. It's not their fault that he wants different things for himself than they do.]
and i sure as hell didn't come in here to say i'm better
but you don't want to hear it from me, you just want to keep that chip on your shoulder
so do what you want
[This is what he gets for trying to use a ~personal connection~ to help somebody. Fuck that. He's done.]
no subject
ha yep you got me.
fuck yeah im keeping that chip on my shoulder.
raging destroyer, thats me.
no changing that.
better hope i dont get powers like others have.
i might just decide to level this fucking city.
[ He's full of shit, but what does that matter? ]
no subject
Sorry, Noah. Dante's out.]